Just gimme the paper . . .

So Sunday morning at God's hour the local supermarket is having a grand reopening in celebration of having relocated the lettuce to an even less convenient place and added twenty-five more aisles of pseudo-organic food right next to the potato chip aisle. They also moved the front door three feet to the right, replacing the section where they used to sell books, except of course they didn't sell any because it was right behind the door.

The store manager come up and tried to give me a cup of supermarket coffee, a bag of popcorn and a balloon. I passed on all three. The bagpipes began to play and five guys ran up with 'Can I help you' T-shirts.

Not one of them knew where they'd moved the Sunday papers to.

Under the time cards, behind the courtesy desk. Would have been nice had they been put together. But doing it myself, I ended up with two classified sections... handy bathroom reading for the guests.

One of the bagpipers did look kind of cute.