Time to quit the day job

In this morning's email:

Attention Beneficiary,

This is an official advice from the FBI, FOREIGN REMITTANCE/TELEGRAPHIC DEPT.

(FRTD), it has come to our notice that the ADB (African development bank) and C.B.N (central bank of Nigeria ) Africa has released your part of inheritance/contract payment of 10,500,000.00 U.S dollars into the Federal Reserve bank in your name as the beneficiary.

This foreign bank knows that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from their location to your account and therefore they used what is known as Secret Diplomatic Transit Payment (S.T.D.P) to do this transfer and they are currently awaiting a confirmation from you for final crediting to your account.

Secret diplomatic payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities, so if you are not intending to finance terrorism and your transaction is legitimate, 

why then did you agree to receive these funds through this means that was used instead of a direct transfer to your account?

Our findings shows that this method of transfer was used in the past to finance terrorist acts, so there is need to correct this problem now to avoid you getting into trouble when the funds reflects in your account. 

We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and held in our custody pending when you were able to provide us with A DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER (DIST) within 3 days from the United Nation, INTERNATIONAL FUND MONITORY UNIT (UNIFMU) that authorize the transfer and certified that the funds originated from Africa and Middle East is free from terrorist/drug and money laundry or we shall confiscate the payment. 

We will allow the funds to be release into your account immediately you make provision the required document. 

You will be directed where and how to get the document as it is not in your possession.

Awaiting your response.

Robert S. Mueller, III

$10.5 mil - imagine how much it would pay if the grammar were correct.

Hey - maybe they could hire me on as a copy editor.