Willie's bus . . .

So the Guru buttonholes me - in a nice way - and asks if I'd want to do this book signing charity thing he's putting together. Sure, I say, without waiting for the details, 'cause the Guru only has good causes, and, hell, he's the Guru.

"Oh, and by the way," he adds, "Willie Nelson may be there, too."

Which puts the request into a whole 'nother category, because Willie is The Man, and I should be begging to do this, not the other way around. I start thanking the Guru but all of a sudden he gets a worried look on his face.

"Now listen," he says, "this you have to promise me - if Willie invites you back on the bus. Don't go. Don't go. You got that? Don't. No."

I open my mouth to say something smart-ass, but I've never seen such a serious look on the Guru's face.

"If I thought you'd go on the bus," he says, "I wouldn't ask you to do this."

"No way, man," I tell him. "I'm good. I hate buses. I'm more a train guy."

"OK," says the Guru.

But as he walks away, I'm thinking if Willie invites you back to the bus, how can you say no? And what's on that bus, anyway . . .