We only work with legends

So a good friend calls up and starts talking about this book project he's got out at a publisher. And of course the unwritten rules is that even among friends, you don't talk too much about the project itself, because you don't want to jinx it, so he's talking about the editor...

Him: He's great. A real editor. A throwback type who really edits.
Me: Uh-huh.
Him: You know what I mean. Really helps improve the book. Understands what writing is all about.
Me: Uh-huh.
Him: A legend. Old school. An editor's editor.
Me: Wait a second. Who are we talking about?
Him: Xxxxxxx.
Me: Xxxxxxx?!? Are you kidding? . . . I've never seen him sober.
Him: I rest my case.

Then again, Xxxxxxx has never seen me sober, so maybe I'm old school, too.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The best editor I ever had reeked of booze and cigar smoke. He'd stumbled into his office the day of our first meeting after a night of betting at the racetrack and then drinking off his losses.

I was pitching a supernatural horror novel. His single editorial suggestion: "I want a young, pretty girl to sex it up with the monster!"

In those days you could still smoke in offices, and I was going through three packs of cigarettes a day. I broke out my Marlboros, passed him one, and we lit up. After a few inhales on the cancer stick, I promised him I'd write the sex-up girl into the story. By the time I finished my smoke, we'd shaken hands on a deal. The contract arrived within a reasonable amount of time. This editor later agreed to a sequel and a third, unrelated novel.

I could've done without the sex-up girl. Also probably shouldn't have modeled her after a family member . . . but, hey, live and learn.

I wish every editor was like that first one. A drunken, debauched wreck who knew a writer when he saw one and had the authority to cut a deal without an okay from some idiot sales rep who hasn't read a book since junior high school, and even then probably cheated on the quiz. And even if some latter-day quote unquote editor gets past the moron sales guy nowadays, he needs to beg and plead for further approvals from the marginally more capable chimpanzees in committee.

Maybe then we'd see more people reading books. UNTIL then, publishers can blame the economy and they can blame video games and they can blame the Martians for sagging sales. But the real people who deserve blame, and should be on unemployment lines, and be denied benefits on the grounds that they never did their jobs in the first place, and instead be enlisted to clean our streets and gutters, are the nice, clean, sober Ivy Leaguers they see when looking in the mirror.

This very definitely anonymous guy's in a lousy mood today.

December 11, 2008 at 3:02 PM

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