How to annoy the IRS

Working on your taxes? Here are some tips cribbed from an ex-IRS employee who used to work in their return receiving department. Identifying details have been altered. (I’d link to the actual comments, but I’d be violating the site's TOS and probably getting him/her in trouble. So I’ll just semi-plagiarize instead...)

Always file paper, not electronically. When you e-file, you can only annoy computers.

Staple, staple staple – along the right side of the tax documents. The “extractors” have to unstapple them. Screw up the return order, put pages in backwards, upside down, etc. This has to fixed by hand.

Glue the envelope closed on all sides. This makes it difficult if not impossible for the handlers to use the machine to open the envelope.

Pay with cashiers checks. The more the merrier. It's even better if you can arrange to pay with two-party checks. This provokes a serious amount of red tape.

Include real money with your return. Not a lot -- just a dollar or two will do. There is all sorts of red tape for the poor person handling the return.

Send a personal note. Notes, letters, etc., have to be read and logged.

Use over-sized envelopes. Large envelopes get special handling.

Sign the return . . . on every page if possible. Each signature is supposed to be verified and stamped. This really slows things down.

Of course, the problem with all of these suggestions is that you're only annoying a low level person. the person you really want to annoy doesn't even work for the IRS - it's your congressperson, who passed all the laws in the first place. But you have to start somewhere.

By the way, the former IRS employee who came up with the list recommended doing these things only if you owe money. No sense delaying your return.