Fun with Telemarketers
Telemarketing Type: Hello, Mister DeeFulicious. I am calling –
Me: Did you know that your company entered a false number on the calling ID system?
Telemarketing Type: Well, sir, we are a non-profit organization –
Me: That’s a violation of the law. Do you know you could be held personally responsible?
T: Uh –
M: You could be sued. Do you own a house?
T: I do, but –
M: I feel really sorry for you. Your employer is putting you at risk like that. I’d never sue but maybe the next person would sue. You’d lose your house, your car –
T: I don’t have a car.
M: Well thank God for that.
T: Our charity helps Native Americans –
M: That’s why you’re calling from India?
M: You know, I’m just about to blow something up in Delhi*.
T: Our charity is non-profit.
M: And illegal.
T: No sir.
M: Well, it’s breaking the law. Would you give money to a criminal?
T: I have to go, sir. Good day.
Next up on Torture a Telemarketer Today: The phone is answered by a psychotic madman sure that the twenty-five heads of lettuce in the bathtub with him are plotting to kill him.
* It'll be in the next Rogue Warrior. Maybe.