But if you're neither, you're really screwed:
Police say a man impersonating an FBI agent with a search warrant tried to con his way into a home in the First Ward on Monday -- but he picked the police chief's house.
Middletown and state police say Santiago Contreras, 20, knocked on Chief Ramon Bethencourt's door at 9:18 a.m., said he was with the FBI, flashed ID – actually a resident alien ID card – and held up a sheet of paper he claimed was a search warrant allowing him to search the home.
Bethencourt immediately asked to see the ID again, police said, and Contreras left. Police found him shortly afterward on Irwin Avenue – with plastic gloves and a homemade plastic shank tucked up the sleeve of his jacket.
Contreras was arrested, charged with attempted first-degree robbery and burglary, first-degree criminal impersonation and second-degree criminal possession of a forged instrument, felonies; and misdemeanor weapon possession. He was held pending arraignment in City Court.
Police said it appears Contreras picked the house at random.