Jersey Johnny was at the bar the other night, singing the blues.

"So I decided I'd maybe go legit," he told the bartender. "Took the books for some of my business, you know? I went in to see an accountant. Told him I wanted to file some back taxes."

"How far back?"

"Back. 2001, 02, back."

"That far?" asked the bartender.

"I figure the '90s are past history."


"So I start laying some things out, and he grabs a pen and paper," says Johnny. "I figure he's estimating what I owe."

"Not happening, huh?"

"He slips the paper around to me. You know what it says?"

"Pay cash?"

"No. That I figured. It says, 'Feds watching me. Don't say nothing'. Imagine that?"


"Feds watching accountants. Sheesh. Well I got the hell out of there."

"Who can blame you?"

"That's what I get for thinking of going legit." Johnny shook his head. "Back taxes . . . "

"Another drink?"

"Make it a double."

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