Helios outtake: A little off the top

One of the goals of the Helios rewrite is to take some of the sophomoric humor out, backing off the tone a bit. This means losing some of the smaller moments that were inserted for comedy. It's the old less is more idea: taking out a few will make the others seem stronger. At the same time, the lead character's serious side gets more focus.

Diners are a big theme in Fisher books (and part of a planned promotion), but a lot of the over the top stuff happens in them. Like this scene, which got hit by the delete button yesterday:

Fisher spotted the waitress approaching.
“I hate to interrupt you in the middle of empire building,” he told Festoon. “But I have to get going.”
“Fisher, wait –”
Whatever else Festoon was going to say was lost as Fisher slammed the phone closed.
“What’s it gonna be, hon?” asked the waitress.
“Coffee. And the double-decker banana creme pie.”
“Whipped cream on the side?”
She started to leave, then turned back. “You don’t want cinnamon or anything like that on it, do you?”
“Cinnamon? There are laws against that.”
“Just checking,” said the woman, with obvious relief. “We get a lot of city folk in here.”

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